To My Partner
by AngstyViolinist22
Summary: The long awaited response from the lone scholar to his only equal.


To My Partner,

Thank you for your letter. I wasn't sure with the 37 voice mail messages you left me, that my absence would effect your daily routine. And for all the years we spent time together, I will counter with this statement. You know I have a hard time connecting with other people in general. Even if we know each other intimately, social formalities are still not my strong suit. You of all people, should understand that part of me, best. And in return, because I understand you, I know that your actions and feelings are as such because we are close friends. And I'll let you know here that I was very touched with your energy and persistence to hear from me. I might have even smiled at times.

We did spend many hours together, the years were enjoyable when you were by my side. It was to my dismay that I would have to study at Backupsmore, but I made it my goal to keep on studying and not waste any opportunities of learning. To my surprise, I learned not only about many theories on the supernatural, but I learned about meaningful friendships from you. The first couple of months at BMU I thought that since I was alone and on my own now, I didn't have to talk or depend on anyone. Finding someone I could trust is rare. And when I do, I still have a hard time sharing myself with them.

Going to Backupsmore, I had little standards for it's education compared to West Coast Tech. And my expectations were met. The curriculum was unsatisfactory, the professors asked me more questions than I asked them and the student body were intelligent, but not dedicated or passionate about their majors. But you, dear friend, were not even listed in my expectations. And when you walked in, surpassed any standards I've unconsciously set within me. Not only were you; intelligent, full of wit, observational, well rounded, out-going and determined. The perfect combination of someone who could put up with me. It doesn't happen very often, someone who will stick around, but I'm pleased that you did.

I know I haven't made it obvious, but I miss having you around as well. Nowadays I don't hear the chirps that you have as a laugh or your low voice advising me to be safe. All I'm left with is just the voice in my head. And he's not as nice as you are to me. But where I am now, for you it is not safe. I wouldn't want someone that means so much to me be in harms way. I'm not sure if I can protect you from being hurt. It would be my biggest failure if anything horrible would happen to you here.

I have begun writing down all that I've encountered here in Gravity Falls. I'm on my second book, and it's incredible, Canterra. You would think that you've stumbled on a Sci-Fi set that has an enormous budget! Think LucasFilm productions and double it. But it's also horrifying, because a director won't yell "CUT!" in the face of danger. Sometimes after a day of exploring, I have to take weeks off from leaving the house. I don't bother with the hospital because the staff will ask too many questions, and I can't afford a personal nurse to help me have a speedy recovery. But don't worry, my mother calls me twice a week just to make sure I am still alive.

And yes, the time we held hands. You must know, that almost every girl I've met before you seemed to take the extra fingers as the final straw of leaving me. First, is my disheveled appearance, but that can be changed with a wardrobe update and some hair gel. Second, my academic-styled personality, reminds them of being in a lecture they walked in by mistake and are too scared to leave early. But the hands, that can't be changed. So my reaction to you grabbing and holding my biggest insecurity, was due to shock. Not because I didn't like the sensation, but I've never had someone so accepting of all of me. The yell and taking my hand back like it was burned, that was the initial response. And then being silent the rest of the night was from my embarrassment on my behalf and being pensive.

My dear confidante, I was thinking and assessing about, well everything. Why did you reach out for me. Or where I truly was because it felt like a dream sequence,. And simply, who you are to me. I never thought that I'd be sharing this with you ever, much less in a letter. But Miss Linwood, I'm quite fond of you. You're intelligent and wise, and many think they're interchangeable but you know better than to believe that at all. You're pleasant and interesting, which I may be biased due to our shared interests. Your humor is beyond the capacity of most people, and yet you can be serious and deep when the the time calls for the need.

You have always kept me on my toes. And you're right again, you picked up the slack when I could not, and so much more beyond my skill set. Usually I hate to admit my downfalls and shortcomings, but you know them all, and still call me friend. You are truly one of a kind. Perhaps I should put you as an entry in my journal. The greatest mystery is our friendship and bond. Strengths, anything as long as she wills it to be. Weaknesses, a fellow that does not deserve her efforts. But it has been two years since your letter, I wonder if you still feel the same way?

I have been the worst. Despite my busy schedule and research that I need to do, I could had made time for you. But I did not. And I can already see the way your eyes would glare at me. "What is your problem, Ford?", you would yell louder than you anticipate. I was scared. Honest as I can be, fear kept me from responding. Fear of you being disappointed with me. Fear of coming to terms with my feelings for you. And fear of losing you, or knowing that I lost you. Confirmation just makes it real, and final. If I had my way, I would not write to you because letters are written for information and responses, and I am nervous about what you would write back. That is, _if_ you open up my letter (and fighting back to rip it up as soon as you finished reading it), and take the time to write me once more. But I'm writing you a letter, because you are worth a response. A heartfelt and meaningful arrangement of words from this fool. Which, I would like to point out again, is not my forte. And no, I did not submit this to my editor beforehand for proof-reading. These thoughts and feelings, are for your eyes only.

And I have given some thought to your comments on my partnership patterns. I see that you have made it very simple to just blaming it on me. Because the trend seems to be is that I, Stanford Filbrick Pines, walk away from each relationship whenever I believe its in my best interests. But you only know me. You have no idea what it was like to grow up alongside my twin. He was; coarse, impulsive, scheming and mischievous. Almost a polar opposite to me. Though, some might say that he's rough around the edges but passionate. With elements of playfulness and vision. That was the way mom would see Stanley in her maternal eyes. Though my achievements impressed my father it was his heart that captured my mom's attention. She saw his strengths, while my awards were the key to my dad's approval. I used to think that I was the Alpha Twin, but looking back upon that time, we both had traits that defined us instead of ranking who was the best.

Canterra, I believe I need to call Stanley. It has been so long since I've seen him. I need his help more than ever. He is someone I can trust. Now, don't huff and purse your lips. This task is too risky for you, but it's up his alley. He knows how to escape with moments to spare. Not that he needs to escape. Just that he's good at getting away, and it wouldn't hurt if he has to at some point. I'll explain it to you when you come and visit Gravity Falls. Once he's completes my single request, I will pay for your bus ticket fare as soon as possible.

I can show you the cliffs and the forests. We can explore and conduct experiments like we used to when we were in school together. And get takeaway at Greasy's Diner. The food is comforting, but the waitress gives me the eye. Maybe she'll stop once she sees us together, but I have a collection of Sci-Fi movies that we have yet to watch together. Yes, I miss our weekly nights in as well. And I can show you this fantastic new board game I've bought the other day. It's called "Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons" and while the title is repetitive, the fun is endless! But we can still play our favorites, "Scrabble" and "Settlers of Catan". Games night is not the same when you're alone playing for hours. Why do I still carry on with our weekly schedule? Because old habits die hard.

That's what I see for us. I know I made a huge mistake the night of the hand-holding experiment of '71. But I hope we can move forward, and change the status of our duo from friendship to relationship. It seems like the only logical conclusion, seeing that we still have feelings for each other after all these years. Writing it out as if it were a serious thesis paper. We are nerds indeed!

Please forgive me, Canterra Linwood. I know I've made you frustrated, and suffered due to my cowardliness. But it would bring me great joy if you agree to be mine. I'm getting ahead of myself, I should ask you properly in person. So keep that in mind, I await your answer when we see each other. You said you were preparing to move on, and I hope that I am not too late. Trying to calculate emotions is not the same as formulas, the answer is not as evident or clear. Pardon me as I get used to expressing what I feel deep down inside. And be patient, but that's something you're quite good at already.

My wonderful best friend, I am thankful for who you are to me. You have reminded me that I need someone by my side, and I've always wanted it to be you. Not only do we excel in the academics together, I have never met anyone that comes close to completing me in way I didn't knew I was lacking. I can't wait to see you soon.

From your Cowardly Fool,

Stanford Pines, PhD


End file.
